Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Support

It has been almost a week since my video sharing my story about dealing with anxiety and depression launched for the #IAMSTIGMAFREE project. This was was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It is the first time I have ever publicly shared with the entire world that I was abused as a child. While I never went into detail describing anything, it was still just as painful.

After the launch I knew that I shouldn't let my efforts go to waste, so I shared my video as well, as the other women's videos with everyone on Facebook, to my entire work department, and my family. The response I received from this effort was phenomenal! Many people shared that they felt alone in their struggles and that this effort showed them that this is not the case. I was so excited to talk to everyone and become siblings that share this common bond. I am so grateful that I was able to gain this support early on because I was very quickly going to need it.

Later in the day after this launch, I suddenly found myself having massive panic attacks and feeling depressed. How could this be? I had been having such an amazing day, so surely it was just "leftover" from the attacks I had been having prior to the launch. The next day I was feeling even worse, and discovered that I was having what some might call a relapse. I felt as awful as I had in the very beginning when I was first starting therapy, and acknowledging all that I had and was still dealing with. This was absolutely awful. I couldn't focus on my studies, I was exhausted, and all I wanted to do was go to bed and cry myself to sleep. Sleep seemed to be the only thing that would get rid of these awful anxious feelings I was having. I found myself feeling alone and wondering if anyone out there knew what I was dealing with, and then I remembered the day before.

I was brought back to the flood of people who had expressed their love and support for me. I was reminded of those who shared with me their struggles with mental illness. I was no longer alone in my struggle. This is what breaking the stigma means to me: No matter how difficult our struggles with mental disorder get, we should always be there as a support to each other.

If it became the norm for people to learn about and support those with mental illness then I believe that more would share when they are struggling. If it became the norm to share our struggles then I believe our suicide rates would drop drastically. Let us all support each other in all struggles whether they be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. We are all connected together as brothers and sisters, so let's treat each other as such. I dream of a world where everyone has not one, not two, but an entire group of supporters to help them get through the good and bad.