7 Days Free!!! :D

After about two weeks of long strings of panic attacks I was able to take a trip down to Texas to visit some family. While down there I felt like a different person. There was nothing for me to fear and nothing to trigger an attack. I felt so wonderful and free to be who I wanted and not worry about anything. This feeling of freedom is a feeling that I don't think I have ever felt. I was allowed the time to let myself heal and to have some deep pondering time.

 I learned a few things on that trip that I will continue to use for the rest of my life. Probably the most important thing I learned is that I have the power within me to heal from the damage that I have experienced. I learned a new exercise that has helped me so much. It requires some visualization and I had to close my eyes the first few times I did it. I imagined being able to take my heart out of my body and hold it in my hands. I asked myself what it looked like: Was it plump and healthy? Was it battered? What did it look like at that moment in time? I then imagined myself handing my heart over to the Savior and allowing his healing touch to put my heart back into a full and plump state. After receiving my heart back I would put it back inside of me. Every time I do this it gives me this new sense of energy to my system. I feel as if I am "whole" in a sense. It gives me this new sense of motivation to be better and it wipes my fear right out of my system.

I am making progress in moving past my anxiety! I often don't feel like I am making any at all, but then I take a good hard look at myself and I realize just how far I have come. I am very excited to say that I am at 7 whole days without any panic attacks!! That's the longest I have gone in almost 5 months. My panic attacks seem to be the center of just about all of my problems. This week I noticed I have been sleeping better and all night which means I am making progress with my insomnia. I have not had stiff muscles and a stiff back which means my functional scoliosis and tendinitis is improving.  My mood has been much better ruling out feeling super depressed 24/7. I am feeling so good and ready to take on the world!